Not banned. hǎo xiāoxi

(I don't know why the "hǎo" in the title looks dumb in Internet Explorer...sorry)

Well, for whatever reason, the blog is back up in China. So please destroy any links to the pirated pkblogs.com version (as I have done).

Here's some appropriate vocabulary to celebrate with:

hǎo xiāoxi = good news

huài xiāoxi = bad news

I actually think of that "xiāoxi" should as "information" or "message." If you want to say "read the news" it's a different word:

kàn xīnwén = read the news [look new + smell/hear]

Weird that "to smell" can also mean "to hear." And, even though it's not SUPER important, the correct measure word for both kinds of news seems to be "tiáo" {measure word for long, narrow things} according to Chubby. Doesn't really make a lot of sense, but I always imagine ancient Chinese messengers reading decrees from the emperor on long scrolls (remember ancient Chinese was written top to bottom, right to left). But thankfully, they actually seem to prefer the old "ge" measure word in this case:

wǒ yǒu yí gè hǎo xiāoxi = I've got good news [I have one {m.} good message] **better**
wǒ yǒu yì tiáo hǎo xiāoxi = I've got good news [I have one {m.} good message]

Don't be alarmed that the tone for "yi" changed. That's what it does. There's a post in the works about the tone changes.

It's apparently also ok to say

wǒ yǒu hǎo xiāoxi = I've got good news [I have good message]

But omitting the "one" part of it seems to imply that you have a whole bunch of news to share. And, more importantly, the Chinese usually have that measure word in there when they say it and hey...they're the boss.

And now that final step of integrating the vocab into my daily life:

wǒ yǒu yí gè hǎo xiāoxi: wǒ de bókè huílái le = I've got good news: my blog came back

Banned. zěnme bàn?

If you're able to read this you should be as glad as I am. It seems that China has, for whatever reason, blocked access to all blogger/blogspot blogs. I think the email updates should still be going out. But if you're in mainland China (I still haven't heard from that island off the east coast) you won't be able to access it directly.

Regardless of what context may suggest, "zěnme bàn?" doesn't mean "how did they ban me?" It's the bàn of bànfǎ = method [do way]. A good translation would be:

zěnme bàn? = what's to be done? / what should we do?

I used that the other day when my water dispenser sprung a leak. The guy delivered a new bottle and I showed him the puddle. He then waxed eloquent, totally losing me, saying things I'm sure boiled down to stuff like:

"Well this particular model, when inundated with an influx of new water after a freshly replenished container is installed, seems to have a tendency to backwash ever so slightly, while, I shouldn't fail to mention that, a simple preemptive strike--viz. draining the surplus water before installing the new jug--may very well serve to nip this problem in the bud."

I blinked at him loudly and said simply, "zěnme bàn?"

He then sprung into action demonstrating and implementing what he had (I'm sure) just explained and all was made clear. Never mind that it didn't solve the problem. I called him the next day saying:

hái yǒu yíyàng de wèntí. zěnme bàn? = (it) still has the same problem. What should we do?

The point is, this is a useful little phrase that, even if it doesn't lead to a real solution, might at least lead to action.

Which brings me back to the problem of this blog. Here's what I suggest:

1. If you're in China: depend on the email updates. To subcribe (or refer someone to subscribe) click here. Amzingly, you still seem to be able to leave comments (see "comments" link at bottom of the email). And, if you MUST look at the website version of this blog, you can go here (as long as it lasts) and type in "laowaichinese". But please don't make any links to the pirated pkblogs.com version becaise if/when my real blog comes back, that sight will be useless. There are also a lot of people complaining that pkblogs.com is stealing their "google ranking" which basically means people are linking to that site rather than the original one.
2. If you're not in China: enjoy your free access and let me know if there are any strange layout problems.

Field Notes

Even though it might seem like a no-brainer to you, enough people have commented on my little notebook that I thought it merited a short post.

I rarely leave home without my little notebook:

• I have a medium-sized notebook so I can write little phrases on one line. But it still fits in my pocket.
• On the left-hand pages I write single vocabulary words. I suggest writing them with English on the left like this: "English word = yīngwén dāncí". I haven't always done it like that but it makes it real hard to "look up" a word if my eyes are first hitting a bunch of pinyin. Also, if I'm walking, thinking my little thoughts, and I suddenly realize there's a word I want to know, I immediately write the English word and leave the Chinese side blank until I get the answer, like "escalator = " (it's the same as "elevator" by the way: "diàntī")
• On the right-hand pages I write phrases or little proverbs. Ideally (although I'm way behind), a native-speaker informant would record each of these phrases, as well as saying the page number, so I can memorize whole chunks of tonally correct Chinese.
• I laminated the outside cover of my notebook with packaging tape so that rain won't wreak immediate havoc on it.

Organize it however you want, but I strongly recommend carrying a field notebook whenever Chinese interaction, or even dead time that you might want to use as study time, is on the horizon.

Master the Tones

To really speak Chinese, you have to master the tones. But, most laowai don't.

It's a good idea to learn the tones as you are learning vocabulary.

The problem with learning Chinese vocab is there are really two things to remember for each word:

1. the sounds (phonemes...I don't know how to say "phonemes" in Chinese)
   
2. the tones (shēngdiào)

These two parts are totally disconnected. Much like learning irregular verbs in English, or the gender of words in German, the tones are completely arbitrary and, to us, random.

A friend found that his Chinese progress was really slow because he was trying to learn the tones from the get go. So he ditched them in attempts to master at least the phonemes for each new vocabulary word. It worked and he burned up the trail learning new words. But, he found people often didn't understand him and it was quite difficult to add the tones back into the mix later. I still believe it's best to integrate learning the tones from the very beginning.

Here are some strategies to master the tones:

1. Give each tone a metaphor, character, or personality
   
2. Make little mnemonic devices (what the Germans apparently call an "eselsbrücke" = "donkey bridge")
   
3. Record and memorize whole chunks together
   
4. When in doubt, talk fast

Metaphor and Personality

The tones are usually referred to in this way:

1. 1st tone (dì yī shēng) = high and level
   
2. 2nd tone (dì èr shēng) = mid and rising
   
3. 3rd tone (dì sān shēng) = falling quickly and then rising
   
4. 4th tone (dì sì shēng) = falling
   
5. 5th tone or zero tone ("qīng shēng" which means "light tone") = neutral tone/no tone (but it should really be called the "secret tone" because it's often still in there you just don't know what it is)

Once you learn how to say each tone, then associate some emotion with each one. For example, here's my own personification and characteristics for each tone:

1. 1st tone = transcendent, helpful, simplicity.
   I love words that have the first tone because of their simplicity and how easy they are to sing out and pronounce correctly.
   
2. 2nd tone = insecure, unsure, questioning.
   I sympathize with words that have the second tone because I've been unsure and insecure myself. I don't blame them for sounding like questions.
   
3. 3rd tone = mischievous, mean-spirited, illusive, like a bird you're trying to watch but he dives into the water and pops up where you aren't looking.
   I hate words with the third tone. They take more work and more time to pronounce. They change depending on the words near them. They seem to exist only to make my life more difficult.
   
4. 4th tone = angry, demanding, impatient.
   I also like words that have the fourth tone because I can shout them out. These words give me a chance to vent. Usually, as a default, if I don't know the tone of a word, I've found I'll say it as a fourth tone involuntarily.
   
5. 5th tone = secretive, deceptive, trying to trick me, won't live up to his own identity.
   I pretend not to care about syllables with the 5th tone. I act aloof, while really wondering what's under that mysterious exterior.

"Donkey bridges" (mnemonic devices)

Visual - think of pictures

• sháozi = spoon
  To remember the tone I had to make a visual image of a spoon handle sticking out of a bowl of soup rising at the same angle the second tone rises.
  
• fēijī = airplane
  This one was easy since I just imagined the plane needing to fly as high as possible for both syllables (high tone, high tone).

"Confusing cousins" - learn them in sets

• bīng = frozen = the smooth, level surface of a frozen pond
• bǐng = cake = my shortcake caved in and now looks just like the contour of the third tone
• bìng = sick = I hate being sick, I'm mad when I say this word.

• tāng = soup = the top surface of the soup is flat
• táng = sugar = the more you eat the higher your sugar high rises

• zhōng = middle = think of a teeter-totter with only one person sitting right in the middle; it will be balanced and level
• zhòng = heavy = the fourth tone is so heavy it falls

Sets / group shapes

• wénhuà dà gémìng = cultural revolution = 2-4, da, 2-4
  
• wēixiào = smile = tones are shaped like a diving board (straight and then jumping off)
  
• wéitāmìng = vitamin = tones look like a mountain /-\, or a little pile of pills
  
• bàngōngshì = office = like a waterslide, drops quickly, levels out, drops again into the pool

To reinforce the visual images of tones, you might want to label your house.

Record and memorize whole chunks together

This trick requires a native-speaker informant who speaks good Mandarin and a tape recorder. I wrote a bunch of useful little phrases like:

• shùnbiàn shuō yīxià... = by the way...
  
• wǒ yīng bù yīnggāi...? = should I...?

Then, I recorded my Chinese friend saying them. I tried to mimic the rising and falling of the phrase as a whole without caring one fig for the tones of individual words. This works really well since these kinds of phrases seem to have fairly set intonation.

Teddi actually drew a "crenulated castle wall" diagram of each phrase to have a visual representation of the ups and downs of the utterance. Maybe I can persuade him to contribute one or two to this blog as samples.

When in doubt, talk fast

This is a last resort that I'm had to, well, resort to several times. The reason this works is the Chinese themselves seem flatten out fudge on tones of individual words in rapid speech. So, if I'm not sure of a particular word's tone (and hopefully that's not the most important word in my sentence), I just breeze over it and hit the tones I know nice and solid. It doesn't always work, but it's often better than slowly and methodically saying the wrong tone for a word when you're not sure.

Good luck...

These are just examples. You can be as creative as you want as you make "donkey bridges" and think of tricks to beat the tones into your brain. Just get those little tones learned by hook or by crook.

See the tones. Be the tones. Make it happen.

Double eyelid

shuāng yǎnpí = double eyelid

I learned this word at lunch yesterday. Apparently most westerners have it, and not all Chinese do. The Chinese seem to think it's a beautiful feature. Somehow, it doesn't sound beautiful when I say it...oh well. Here's some more info on the physiological phenomenon.

tè = tèbié, a special word

tèbié = especially, special, exceptionally

NEWS FLASH: They often just say tè

I just got fruit from one of my usual fruit dealers. The competition is so fierce between the fruit ladies that they usually throw in an extra apple or orange to try to secure my business for next time. Here's how it went:

A = Albert
F = Fruit Lady

(F tries to give a free piece of hāmìguā)

A: bú yào, xièxie = I don't want it, thanks.

F: sòng gěi nǐ = I'll give it to you for free

A: bú yào, háishì xièxie = I don't want it, thanks anyway.

(F puts in the the bag)

F: zhège tè tián = this one is especially sweet

But often they don't use tèbié the way we would use "especially." We say especially to mean, "in comparison to other things (usually just mentioned)." For example, "I saw 3 movies but I the the third one was especially good."

The way I'm hearing it used is more like the way we say "really" or "SO." I heard a student describe a lecture (not mine) as:

tè wúliáo = SO boring

Another student celebrated her triumph in killing a mosquito by calling it:

tèbié bèn = especially stupid

If anyone knows any rules for when you can say tè and when you should say tèbié, please leave a comment below.

Label your house

During my first year in China, every Chinese person who came to visit me was guaranteed hours of entertainment. All they wanted to do was walk around reading the scores of little post-it notes with pinyin on them.

I labeled everything and it paid off:

1. I quickly mastered everyday words like "outlet" (chāzuò) and "toilet paper" (wèishēngzhǐ)
   
2. It reinforced the tones. Seeing them visually while just sitting around eating helped a lot. (I arranged all the prepositions of location on my refrigerator door.)
   
3. It helped me start to think in Chinese. By just seeing the thing (a window) and thinking "chuānghu," my brain learned to bypass that English word "window" completely after a while.

I also made a picture of a human body and labeled body parts (I can't draw very well so it was actually really "kǒngbù" (horrifying) as my Chinese visitors put it).

Later I even started writing notes to myself from my imaginary older brother in Beijing. Ping (as I called him) had a key to my house and would come in and leave pieces of advice or warnings like:

1. "nǐ chà diǎnr wàngle dài yàoshi" = "you almost forgot to bring your key" (on the inside of my door)

Teddi went a step further and posted his lists of "confusing cousins" and "random confusers" above his sink. Whatever it takes to get those tones under your belt.

Tip: buy the real Post-It brand sticky notes. The Chinese-made ones seem to sit in the package plotting little competitions as to who can be the first one to fall off the wall. They don't even stick to themselves when folded in half!

Organize your vocab - hanzi web

People always ask me, "How many Chinese characters do you know?" I resist the urge to include some of my students and proudly answer, "About zero." They're shocked because we're speaking Chinese right now. And, to the Chinese, the language IS the hanzi characters.

But for us laowai, if your goal is to speak Chinese as soon as possible, it's a big waste of time to study the hanzi characters from the beginning. They are, however, useful to acknowledge as a way of organizing vocabulary.

I have a much easier time remembering words if I know what each little piece is. It's also a good way to keep the tones straight.

So, to link all those little pieces together, I often visualize something I call a hanzi web. I don't really draw these (that would take forever), this is just an example. But the point is I'm always trying to link the little bits of new vocabulary back to known bits of vocabulary. And the common link (even if you don't know how to draw it) is the hanzi character. It may not make a whole lot of sense, but at least you might have a better chance at remembering the tone.

So, how do you figure out what that dàn in bèndàn is?

1. use the online dictionary (and click the little scissors picture)


2. ask someone who speaks Chinese

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